Last year was pretty much the worst year ever for my family. We lost my father-in-law in February, and my mother-in-law went into assisted living memory care. Then, my dad died quite unexpectedly in early September. My brother began a series of health emergencies, and I flew out to California to be there with him in October. Then, when he was starting to do okay, my mother-in-law suddenly took a turn and passed away Christmas morning.
Despite all the grief and worrying, homeschooling still had to happen. Girl Scouts meetings still had to be planned, and parents still needed to parent some emotionally distraught kids while being emotionally distraught ourselves. Needless to say, we were in survival mode. No one much felt like following any sort of rabbit holes, much less working through long division or practicing reading skills. Here’s what we did to heal while homeschooling.
Take a Break
Most states require 180 days of homeschooling; some, like mine, ask for a little bit more – 186. There are 365 days in a year. Our homeschooling last year sometimes (often) happened on weekends when we started up again. I knew we could take a break each time we needed to and still make our required days for the year. By understanding your requirements and planning with buffer time, you’ll know how much of a break you can take/or whether you’ll need to homeschool year-round to make up for a break. We took several breaks (for obvious reasons) but still surpassed our minimum required days.
You cannot learn while you’re processing grief and other heavy emotions. If your child is suffering from anxiety attacks, it’s worth it to take a break, regroup, and come back to it. Think about how much you remember and are on top of when you’re personally going through a lot – and you’re an adult.
Focus on Core Skills Subjects
When it’s time to get back to it, list the subjects you feel you must do to feel like learning happened. For us, that was math, spelling, writing, and phonics. Many days, we did more than that for our sit-down work, but that was the line I held on hard days.
Follow Rabbit Trails and Interests on the Hard Days
We followed lots of rabbit trails. I usually am a planner, but I didn’t have the energy to stick to the plan on those hard days. Instead, we’d read books and watch videos on topics of interest, from space to engineering to dinosaurs and historical events. I keep a list in Notion.so of questions my kiddos ask. On the hard days, we hit up those lists and work on answering those questions – so not only are we learning something, but we’re learning how to learn.
Read and Snuggle
Our family loves books. I’d venture to say that’s true of a lot of homeschooling families. One of my favorite parts of the day is getting to read while all 4 little kids pile around me and listen. So, when things were the hardest, that’s what we did the most. We read a variety of books – chapter books, nonfiction books about rabbit trail interests, picture books… It was nice to have the closeness and it was nice to escape through kids’ literature or learn new things in a cozy environment.
Create
All 3 middle kids love to create. The 10 and 7-year-olds love to draw. The 7-year-old has taken up making paper miniatures. The 8-year-old loves making custom Pokemon cards (bonus: writing the descriptions of those can count for writing) and building houses in Minecraft creative mode. We LOVE creating – and arts and crafts can be really positive ways to get emotions out on paper. It’s also a great way to be in the moment.
Get Out of the House
This is the hardest. I’m not sure about you, dear reader, but when I’m not feeling great emotionally, I do not want to go anywhere or be around anyone. But I feel so much better when I’m out and with friends or engaged in a Girl Scouts meeting or hiking and engaging in nature with my kids. Part of that is because when we’re out and engaging with the world, we’re there in the moment. It’s hard to be anywhere but on the trail when hiking and taking in nature. I have an app on my phone that helps us identify leaves, trees, wildflowers, birds, mushrooms, and all kinds of things we come across.
Prioritize Mental Health
Don’t forget the importance of mental health care when things are tough. Journaling has helped me a lot. Grief counseling is also important. Make sure that you’re not ignoring the importance of working toward healing when you’re going through a rough time – and not just for the kids. Homeschooling adults must also prioritize mental health and self-care.
I’m looking forward to a homeschooling year that looks a lot more like what our family is comfortable with. During the pandemic, and then this past year, we were a lot more unschooly than I personally prefer. I think that hard times are the perfect times for unschooling. But I also have an 8-year-old who needs a lot of structure, so getting back to something more traditional and in keeping with our classical homeschooling model going forward. He and the 10-year-old are actually excited that we have a schedule of topics for the year.
I look forward to sharing more about our plans in future posts!
Just a Secular Homeschooler 